Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
