and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
