I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
