Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
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