Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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