i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
