theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"