i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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