I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Actions speak louder than pants.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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