If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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