Cold hands, warm shart.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
