And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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