Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
