Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
