I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize