ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
