i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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