He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
