honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
