It's like a parade of train wrecks.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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