I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
