My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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