Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize