We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
