That's intense
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
