This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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