So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
