erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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