Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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