Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
