What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
