shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
