We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
