i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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