I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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