ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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