he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
