I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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