i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
