I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
