I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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