Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
