I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
