As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Boobs speak an international language.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
