My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Someone shit on the floor
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize