Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
