I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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