thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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