i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
