If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
