Already got asked if we're dating
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
