Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
