Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
