I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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