12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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