Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
