Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
