Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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