in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
