Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
