he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
