id be glad to
Someone shit on the floor
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
