People with herpes should wear stickers.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So. Much. Porn.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
