All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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