Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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